A Modest Proposal For Halloween Costumes

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My roommates recently had the idea to dress up as Disney princesses for Halloween this year. I myself have fond memories of Belle’s poofy yellow dress, but that’s not ex- actly what they’re going for. Somewhere between the ages of 8 and 18, it seems that their memories of the pretty princess dresses in those movies somehow changed to include less and less fabric. At some point during their adolescence, the idea of a Disney Princess be- came less of a little girl’s role model and a little more Victoria’s Secret underwear model.

And it’s not just the Disney princess costumes. Nowadays, no character or profession is safe from being turned into an overtly sexual Halloween costume. I understand how some costumes turn out to be a little on the dirty side. Police woman? I guess I can see it: some people think authority can be attractive. And sure, the naughty nurse thing kind of makes sense: people like to be taken care of (even though if a nurse tried to fix me up wearing one of those outfits, I’d be more worried about what she does after hours than my actual injury). But a sexy horse jockey or taxi driver? And perhaps someone can enlighten me on just how the Harry Potter characters have turned into provocative costumes. I’m sorry, but isn’t Hermione supposed to be 14 in some of those books? Even Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” wore more clothing than many girls do on Halloween, and she was supposed to be an ACTUAL hooker.

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Anonymous student expresses discomfort in a “Naughty Nemo” costume. (Cass Krughoff/Foghorn)

In light of this, I have a few suggestions for those of you who are considering a costume that may toe the line of appropriateness, without losing that adventurous aspect of the holiday.

If you are considering a costume that may be scandalous, consider being a different variation. For example, Lady Gaga is a great costume, but maybe you want to be meat-dress Gaga instead of bra, panties and leather jacket Gaga. You still get to wear the long blonde wig, but you also wouldn’t be overly embarrassed should you happen to run into the mother and father of the kids you babysit every week.

If you must wear that costume that requires pasties then please also consider your posse for the night-are you going to be around that friend who snaps photos every ten seconds and uploads them almost instantly? Perhaps that’s not the best costume strategy for hanging with that friend. If the worst should happen, your costume malfunction is not something you want all over your friend’s Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr.

Other important things to remember are all of your appropriate undergarments. Any outfit need not be further “enhanced” by neglecting to wear what should properly be worn underneath. That goes for you guys, too. I will not go further, but please, no one wants to see that, and your grandmother would cross you right out of her will for that kind of thing.

And let’s be honest, the Sleeping Beauty somehow loses her charm when her six inch pink tulle skirt is flipped up as she trips in her high heels. No true Prince charming wants to kiss the Snow White whose are on display for every other prince to see. So please, because the pictures will inevitably find their way onto Facebook and because no one wants to walk into an interview only to be asked why they were a half-naked bumblebee in college, be conscious of your costume. Call it a plea for modesty, call it being a buzz-kill, whatever, but seeing Dora the Explorer in a thong is just too much.

Editor-in-Chief: Heather Spellacy

Chief Copy-Editor: Burke McSwain

Scene Editor: Tamar Kuyumjian

6 COMMENTS

  1. excellent article…this needed to be said. i actually had a girl tell me that she feels insecure if she is not dressed super slutty. paradoxically she was concerned a week earlier about what she looks like in a bathing suit.

  2. After reading this article I biked to class and I couldn’t stop but notice how true this article was. I saw a herd of girls assembled outside a bus ready to be shuttled to a Halloween party and everyone one of them was dressed slutty and to top it off they were all drinking and talking about who had the best costume. I guess to win best costume you really must show skin, even amongst our lady friends. I can only say Good luck to the gents receiving these charming girls hope you find your sleeping beauty.

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