Am I a man, or am I a…Trend? Being a “performative male” in today’s society 

Recently, the term “performative male” has gained prominence on TikTok and Instagram, with the topic garnering hundreds of thousands of views across various platforms. It has become the word to identify a man who essentially portrays the “soft boy” aesthetic to impress or attract the attention of people. This is essentially a facade: men who are putting on a show, appearing and acting out their sensibility, but not practicing real vulnerability, which promotes inauthenticity and toxic masculinity in our society. Being a “performative male” is not beneficial in any way; it is a trend that seems funny, but could really be harmful. It could leave certain men focused on portraying a role rather than being their genuine selves.

A local example is the “performative male contest” that took place on Aug. 22 at Alamo Square Park. This contest was one of many that have occurred–some also took place in both Seattle and Portland. From pictures and videos, it is visible that there were a bunch of men putting on a show and competing for the attention of spectators, gaining some public recognition by bringing an internet trend to real life. The event was very welcoming, with mainly women in the audience and close to 100 men competing in their “performative” attire.

Contestants wore Labubus on their belt loops, cardigans and held books as accessories. Before the event, they rehearsed their performativity. There is no doubt that most people who participated in the event attended because they enjoyed it, and might find it a harmless internet trend. In Generation Z, there have been several trends that have come to life, like Dubai chocolate, the “clean girl,” the “trad wife” and Crumbl Cookie. A recent study by Psychology Today concluded that trends are a way to find community with people who are similar and identify with the same things others might. 

While this may seem like another unimportant fad, the “performative male” is essentially a mockery of what is actually going on: men aestheticizing softness, but not practicing it. Men aren’t doing this trend to fit in, they are doing it to stand out. They may be seeking attention in inauthentic ways due to society reeling back on the “deification” of men, which is possibly a completely unfamiliar sense to them. This gives them a reason to go out of their way to participate in trends such as this. 

This “performative male” trend, while seemingly coming out of nowhere, can be attributed to the recent media attention to a certain aesthetic of man. Actors such as Timothée Chalamet, Paul Mescal, Jacob Elordi and Harry Styles began to attract many young people based on their softer gender-defying aesthetic. This aesthetic became popularized due to its wide appeal and well-received reception on social media.

This new act of men appearing more performatively feminine to attract people can be seen as a parallel to men wanting to appear as if they are woke and edgy, when in reality, it’s a trend that solely benefits them. The performative male contest provokes male competition, as men are still seeking the prize of validation amongst themselves and others. 

These actions and the draw toward being a “performative man” can be seen as the complete opposite of “red pill content.” Popular creators such as Fresh & Fit, Andrew Tate and Joe Rogan promote toxic masculinity and misogyny to gain the attention of young men. They aren’t necessarily doing it because they believe what they’re saying, but because “rage bait” content has been very profitable in new age media, such as TikTok and X, where this demeanor is flourishing. While the “performative male” trend promotes soft masculinity, “red pill content” acts as a platform where men can be “men,” and embrace themselves in the way society has conditioned them to. “Red pill content” gives consumers the idea that men are supposed to be in power, provide and have women serve them. However, these trends both serve the same purpose: to gain attention.

Even though the media is a cause for this attention-seeking behavior that men are partaking in, it can also relate to several different factors. For one, there is a “reverse oppression” narrative taking place, in which men feel displaced by the DEI process. Even though our current president is a white male, there are still women of color entering leadership positions, posing a threat to men. In a 2022 study conducted by Forbes, “nearly 70% [of white men] report feeling ‘forgotten’ by diversity, equity and inclusion efforts.” Furthermore, misandry has become a common mindset because of Tik Tok, with artists like Sabrina Carpenter promoting it. Her song “Manchild” features the lyrics such as, “Manchild…Half your brain just ain’t there,” and “It’s all just so familiar baby what do you call it? Stupid, slow, useless.” This has made men feel inferior, to which Carpenter details feeling “attacked and ridiculed” by them because of it. 

Even though this online behavior seems harmless, it could really be a subtle cry for help. Society has conditioned men to not act on their emotions, and with our current administration, there is more of a pressure to be a “man” in comparison to before. While these trends can be funny, it is important to take a step back and realize the implications of this mockery. When young boys consume this content online, it directly affects their perception of masculinity. If there is not a middle ground, and individuals are not authentically themselves, where does the line between performance and reality get drawn?