Horoscopes

Aries

(March 21-April 19):

Take a note from Biggie: when someone asks you for your name and sign walk away. Make that a run. Now if you’re smart, you’ll run in the direction of the person who’s most recently caught your eye.

Taurus

(April 20-May 20):

Keep an eye on the horizon this week. No, your soul mate will not emerge from the fog, but you will know what direction the wind behind the fog is heading! Use this information to dress weather appropriately and you’ll have more free time because you won’t be wasting it changing your clothes.

Gemini

(May 21-June 21):

Be careful. Some big news is about to drop, and if you’re not prepared, you’ll do more work than was necessary! It might be something important like the blessing of a deadline pushed back.

cancer

(June 22-July 22):

No one truly 100 percent enjoys going to the gym, but you should head over there anyway. Not because you need to exercise, but because the trees leading up to Koret are changing colors beautifully.

Leo

(July 23-Aug. 22):

The school year is now in full swing and you’re feeling the weight of the workload. Something to remember- stress gives you wrinkles! Take a break, put on “California Love,” and dance it out. Trust me on this one.

Virgo

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

Enough already, listen to Aretha and assert yourself. R-E-S-P-E-C-T won’t come on its own; you have to make it happen. Just don’t go overboard and sass your boss.

Libra

(Sept. 23-Oct. 23):

So you’re low on cash? Don’t fret. This past week was full of several season premiers on TV. If you start now, you won’t get behind and you’ll be able to contribute to the water cooler club.

Scorpio

(Oct. 24-Nov. 21):

Even though the saying is “spring cleaning,” it doesn’t mean the other three seasons are excused. Please clean up after yourself; your roommates are a little annoyed. Thank you.

Sagittarius

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

If people are asking you if you’re spending too much time on the computer, you may reply that you are merely trying to discover the next Justin Bieber so that you, too, can manage a teen artist and make millions. Duh.

Capricorn

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

People always ask you for help. Instead of being annoyed, take it as a compliment that you are in such high demand. Your friends have seen you dance and want to pick up a few tips so don’t be stingy. Teach them how to dougie, if only for the entertainment of watching them try.

Aquarius

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

Good news! You know how you’ve been wanting to learn how to dougie? Well this weekend will bring you the knowledge you seek. You’ll learn how to dougie with the best of them. Capricorns are your best bet.

Pisces

(Feb. 19-March 20):

Make a trip to Golden Gate Park sometime this week around 6:30 p.m. The light and perfect crispness in the air are the ideal weather conditions for a fall stroll.

Editor-in-Chief: Heather Spellacy

Chief Copy-Editor: Burke McSwain

Scene Editor: Tamar Kuyumjian

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