Mind Your Manners: The ability to just be nice to one another seems to be a dying art 

People don’t seem to say thank you when you hold the door open to the dining hall. When standing in line at a coffee shop on a busy morning, people seem to cut the line, left and right. What happened to just being nice? People don’t seem to do the same things that used to be common courtesy. We are living in a society declining in empathy. The lack of empathy in today’s society can be attributed to many different factors; however, the fast-paced nature of the world, political polarization and increased technology usage are some of the most limiting factors of empathy. 

We find ourselves rushing from breakfast to class to work to a club meeting and back to bed. Being constantly in motion is the new way of the world. However, living in such a fast-paced society actually discourages our ability to be empathetic. Often, being hurried and moving quickly perpetuates stress within us. According to psychologist Dr. Sherry Pagoto, “stress is the biggest modifiable factor that suppresses our capacity to express empathy.” When we are stressed, it is easy to forget that the people around us deserve patience and grace. 

We also live in a technology-focused society. With the rise in technology use also comes the idea that technology will be the thing to keep us connected to each other. Instead of having to make long-distance phone calls, we have the ability to communicate with each other in so many different ways, all at our fingertips. While technology has numerous benefits, it does not come without its dangers. 

Within the last decade, there has been a drastic increase in social media, phone and television entertainment. Social media platforms are unique in the sense that they provide users with the ability to communicate with strangers. However, communication via online platforms alters the dynamics of interpersonal connections. Online connection is not equivalent to in-person connection and cannot teach us empathy in the same way that forming relationships in the real world does. Social media relies on the different ways that users share their experiences and selves online. Users become increasingly more concerned with how they are portrayed to others, which leaves little room to empathize with others and have meaningful interactions outside of the online world. 

Social media usage also makes it easy to express thoughts and feelings online, even when they are negative towards a person or a group of people. While there have been policies to decrease harmful speech on social media, cyberbullying is still a very real problem. Without the face-to-face element, empathizing with people is more difficult. 

While previous generations have had their own ways of coping with stress, Gen Z is famous for our love of self-care, a prominent online lifestyle. The new Friday night consists of calling a friend and a 9 p.m. bedtime. The popularization of self-care is largely inspired by Gen Z’s awareness surrounding the importance of mental health. Compared to previous generations, Gen Z takes a progressive stance on mental health awareness. According to the American Psychological Association, 37% of Gen Z individuals have gone to therapy, whereas only 26% of Gen X individuals say the same. Our way of combating the stresses of fast-paced everyday life is to slow down. 

The self-care lifestyle also consists of the use of “therapy-speak.” Many Gen Z individuals use jargon like “triggered,” “gaslighting” or “microcheating” in everyday speech. Gen Z’s attitude towards mental health has contributed to the use of these terms but often, they are used ad nauseam. 

While it may be a way of coping with stress, Gen Z’s signature self-care lifestyle is an overcorrection. The idea of “protecting your peace” has encouraged an individualistic mindset among Gen Z individuals. What started as a face mask and bubble bath has morphed into not going to your best friend’s birthday dinner because you “don’t feel like it.” Drastic personal boundaries have made us forget that part of self-care is caring for and being empathetic towards others. 

Furthermore, in today’s turbulent political atmosphere, it’s easy to pit ourselves against one another for having differing opinions. Society has become increasingly divided on social issues, which has led to a focus on individualism. First-year nursing major, Misha Poltoratskiy, said, “There is a lot of conflict between both parties in the political system. You say one wrong thing and it could be the end of everything for you. People don’t like differing opinions, and when people’s opinions are so different, it shuts off their emotions towards each other.” 

Similarly, Stanford political science professor Shanto Iyengar states, “Democrats and Republicans both say the other party’s members are hypocritical, selfish and close-minded.” Polarized citizens of the United States not only disagree with each other when it comes to policy, but also hold feelings of antipathy towards their respective political opponents. There seems to be an inability to find common ground with each other, which has adverse effects on the ability to empathize with one another. Empathy is a key ingredient when it comes to bridging the gap between tolerance and mutual appreciation because it helps us to adopt a growth mindset. 

There is a significant empathy deficit in the world right now. Due to political polarization, living in a fast-paced society,and heightened technology use, the ability to just be nice to one another seems to be a dying art. Individualistic mindsets like the “me versus you” narrative keep us from seeing each other as equals and encourage us to separate ourselves from each other. This separation is what prevents growth in relationships and in community. Empathy is what brings us together in a world that seems to be working against us, and we need it now more than ever. As simple as it may be, smiling every once in a while and saying “thank you” can go a long way.